you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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