I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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