so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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