then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
