Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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