Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
