I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize