let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
