yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
