You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
