This girl is more easily done than said...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
