I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
