She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
