Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
