If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
