Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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