I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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