my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
