You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
