Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize