May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
