I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
