sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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