Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize