she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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