so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
