i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
