I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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