I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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