THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
