And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
