I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
