The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
