toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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