I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
