I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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