your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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