omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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