It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
