I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
