6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
