Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
