I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My ass is underappreciated
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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