32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
