I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.