I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
