it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
