i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
