Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ladies don't puke and tell
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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