she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
