you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
