i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The air taste purple.
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