Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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