stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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