Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
