Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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