i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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